HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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