My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
