Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
whose ass print is on the piano?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
