i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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