i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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