doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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