If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
