good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
