I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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