I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
