Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
