My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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