Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
