Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
