we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm at about main and main street
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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