i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
