I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
