I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
