I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There's always time for handjobs
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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