He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
