Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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