dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ttyl tear gas
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize