The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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