Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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