The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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