We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
