wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
