Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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