first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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