I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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