What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize