So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
