I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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