I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
