We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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