I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
