i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
