I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
