I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
