Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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