Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
