Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
