Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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