Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Randomize
