He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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