he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
