We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
