Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My ass is underappreciated
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
