The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
