Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
