i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
