my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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