How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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