You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
