oh god the rape fog is back!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
