it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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