There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
