My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
soo... how was my night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
