Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
