someone get that fucking seahorse.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
