Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
