so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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