wrigley field is MILF paradise
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
