On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
